Washington Football Team Rejects ‘Warriors’ Nickname For Being Too Racist

Bowing to pressure from the woke mob, the Washington NFL team changed it’s name from the “Redskins” to… Well, here’s the thing, they never actually got a new name because when you play stupid games you win stupid prizes. The team almost pulled the trigger on calling themselves the “Washington Warriors” but it turns out the Woke-O-Sphere thinks that’s just as racist to Indians as “Redskins.”

On the Washington football team’s website, president Jason Wright gave an update on the name search:

Since we made the decision to change our name, the past nine months have given us a unique opportunity to reevaluate our organization in terms of who we are today and what path we want to take into our future.

It’s no secret why we began this journey of finding a new brand identity. It centered around our old name and its use of Native American imagery and racialized language.

I thought it was because the organization is a bunch of spineless cowards.

With this in mind, we made it a priority to run an inclusive process to listen to all voices. We have given particular emphasis to engaging, listening and learning from Native American leaders and individuals throughout the country. This process has exposed to us the very deeply-held personal feelings about our previous imagery and association — and not just the simple, easy-to-categorize “who’s for or who’s against” polling of our old name, but research revealing the psychological effects of Native American team names on American Indian and Alaska Native youth.

If you are psychologically traumatized by a football team name, you have very real problems completely unrelated to a football team name.

In sum, this engagement demonstrated to us a consensus that moving forward with no ties to Native American imagery is the right path. I am personally and deeply grateful for the Native American community leaders who engaged with us, sharing painful, raw and real stories that persist to this day. Their stories affirmed our decision to move in a new direction in the creation of our new name and identity, and we are proudly forging ahead in this journey with a promise to our community — a promise to continue to be inclusive in our process and collaborative with our fans.

And here’s what the team name won’t be changed to:

In the spirit of that engagement, I want to address a name that has emerged amongst our fanbase, “Warriors.” One might look at this name as a natural, and even harmless transition considering that it does not necessarily or specifically carry a negative connotation. But as we learned through our research and engagement with various groups, “context matters” and that makes it a “slippery slope.” Feedback from across communities we engaged clearly revealed deep-seated discomfort around Warriors, with the clear acknowledgment that it too closely aligns with Native American themes. Such an embrace of potentially Native-adjacent iconography and imagery would not represent a clear departure that many communities have so forcefully advocated for us to embrace, and that frankly, we set out to do when we started this process a year ago.

Oh, “Warriors” isn’t racist but rather racist-adjacent.

The definition of a warrior is someone who is experienced in warfare. In other words, a total asskicker. How can that be associated with Indians who fought so poorly and surrendered so easily to lose all of North America? I could see if they wanted to call themselves the Washington “Losers” or “Quitters” but “Warriors” simply doesn’t apply.

Well, it looks like the Washington football team is intent on their new name not being associated with Indians but starting with the letter “W.” Much like how the Washington Bullets (most appropriate team name in history) changed their name to the Wizards, the football team is going to get stuck with something really dumb.

Washinton Wieners

Washington Wangs

Washington Wusses

Washington Wimps

Washington Weasels

Washington Worms

Washington Wookies

Washington Womp Rats

Washington Wallflowers

Washington Wiseacres

Washington Wedgies

Washington Walpurgisnacht

Whatever they pick, you can bet it’s going to be stupid. Oh wait, they should just call themselves the “Washington Whatevers.” Or better yet, the “Washington WTF?”