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The War on Men
Over the last four decades, America has witnessed a profound change in marriage and gender relations-for the worse. And while there are definitely a handful of reasons for the fractured family unit, the most significant phenomenon to rupture marriage was feminism. In the span of a few short decades, the movement managed to demote its men from respected providers and protectors of the family to superfluous buffoons. To a large segment of the population, the idea that men can be victims at all is preposterous. Everyone knows there's more work to be done for women to achieve so-called equality. Everyone knows the patriarchy is alive and well. But Americans have been had. Feminism isn't about equal rights, nor is it about providing women with choices. I don't care how pretty feminists package their agenda-the mission is clear: Feminism is a war on men. It's time to say what no one else will: the sexual revolution was a disaster. Modern men have no respect for modern women and vice versa. Marriage has turned into a competition rather than a partnership. Dating is defunct and any reference to gender differences it met with skepticism or outright derision. Post-feminist America thinks males and females are virtually identical. We've become genderless. To end the war on men, women must stop clamoring for something we already have-and have had for quite some time: equality. They must adopt the mantra equal, but different. Men and women have been equally blessed with amazing and unique qualities that each brings to the table. Isn't it time we stopped fussing about who brought what and just enjoy the feast?
27 pages, ebook
First published January 29, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
July 18, 2020
REVISED REVIEW PART 3 (18 July 2020):
I am older now. I have finished university. I have taken up gender theory, political theory, and feminism is always a topic.
I don’t think that when I wrote this when I was in my teenage years I was exposed to the real roots of the feminist movement, the ideas behind it - especially with how “the personal is the political”, and it was through learning in university, taught by strong, intelligent women that I learned that I was wrong.
And that’s okay. It’s okay to be wrong. That’s how you learn. Am I a feminist now? Yes, but I also know saying that has many nuances as feminism has so many branches – socialist feminism, lesbian feminism, etc. but I don’t go into the depts of that. All I know is that believe that women deserve just as much opportunity and chances as men have had for most of time, and I’ve understood how living life as a woman is so difficult because what is in our personal lives become political. I mean, just the plain taxation of tampons is example enough.
There is no war on men. My teenager self was wrong, but I am glad to know better now. The war is on the restriction of opportunity and prejudice to people simply because of their sex and gender. That is the war.
I also did not read this book again as I wrote this review, but I feel so distant to the self that wrote the past review I just know it’s unwise for me to read this book again. But for what it’s worth, reading my own review from years past has made me realize that we aren’t one-dimensional beings and our beliefs can change.
Below is my original review of this book. I no longer identify with almost all of what I’ve said, except that women and girls deserve the same rights as men. Other than that, nothing.
ORIGINAL REVIEW CIRCA 2014(?): I am revising my review after a change of perspective.
You see, I've been enlightened.
Before I start, I'd like to make it clear that I do not hate feminists. I believe there are good feminists out there (as well as bad ones), and what I'm about to criticize is the movement.
Ever since I became a feminist, I struggled with it. I was very ambivalent about it. Somehow I always knew it would just be a phase, but I never listened to it well. Everywhere I would go, I would relate it to feminism. It drove me crazy, but I thought it was (and I made myself think) a sense of accomplishment.
You see, I no longer embraced my femininity. I was starting to become genderless, and I was beginning to encourage it to everyone I know. Feminism went against my own personal set of morals and dreams that I changed after reading views on feminism.
When I first read this book, I loathed it, and was maybe even in denial. Over the past months of being a feminist, I have come to realize that it was poison to my thoughts, to my beliefs, and to my well-being in general. I went through an identity crisis because of it.
But now I know, and I totally see the author's point of view. I don't care how many feminists out there will tell me that I've been brainwashed by the patriarchy, but this is what I believe in, and what I choose to believe in.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all up for women and girls getting the same rights in health, education and in the workforce, but I think we (yes, men and women alike) should come to realize that men and women are different. We need to be at peace with the fact that we have always been different, but equal nonetheless. Of course it's about femininity and masculinity, but when we take out these traits in the rearing of our children, what will they become? Gender is in a mentality, I agree, but isn't everything?
I am older now. I have finished university. I have taken up gender theory, political theory, and feminism is always a topic.
I don’t think that when I wrote this when I was in my teenage years I was exposed to the real roots of the feminist movement, the ideas behind it - especially with how “the personal is the political”, and it was through learning in university, taught by strong, intelligent women that I learned that I was wrong.
And that’s okay. It’s okay to be wrong. That’s how you learn. Am I a feminist now? Yes, but I also know saying that has many nuances as feminism has so many branches – socialist feminism, lesbian feminism, etc. but I don’t go into the depts of that. All I know is that believe that women deserve just as much opportunity and chances as men have had for most of time, and I’ve understood how living life as a woman is so difficult because what is in our personal lives become political. I mean, just the plain taxation of tampons is example enough.
There is no war on men. My teenager self was wrong, but I am glad to know better now. The war is on the restriction of opportunity and prejudice to people simply because of their sex and gender. That is the war.
I also did not read this book again as I wrote this review, but I feel so distant to the self that wrote the past review I just know it’s unwise for me to read this book again. But for what it’s worth, reading my own review from years past has made me realize that we aren’t one-dimensional beings and our beliefs can change.
Below is my original review of this book. I no longer identify with almost all of what I’ve said, except that women and girls deserve the same rights as men. Other than that, nothing.
ORIGINAL REVIEW CIRCA 2014(?): I am revising my review after a change of perspective.
You see, I've been enlightened.
Before I start, I'd like to make it clear that I do not hate feminists. I believe there are good feminists out there (as well as bad ones), and what I'm about to criticize is the movement.
Ever since I became a feminist, I struggled with it. I was very ambivalent about it. Somehow I always knew it would just be a phase, but I never listened to it well. Everywhere I would go, I would relate it to feminism. It drove me crazy, but I thought it was (and I made myself think) a sense of accomplishment.
You see, I no longer embraced my femininity. I was starting to become genderless, and I was beginning to encourage it to everyone I know. Feminism went against my own personal set of morals and dreams that I changed after reading views on feminism.
When I first read this book, I loathed it, and was maybe even in denial. Over the past months of being a feminist, I have come to realize that it was poison to my thoughts, to my beliefs, and to my well-being in general. I went through an identity crisis because of it.
But now I know, and I totally see the author's point of view. I don't care how many feminists out there will tell me that I've been brainwashed by the patriarchy, but this is what I believe in, and what I choose to believe in.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all up for women and girls getting the same rights in health, education and in the workforce, but I think we (yes, men and women alike) should come to realize that men and women are different. We need to be at peace with the fact that we have always been different, but equal nonetheless. Of course it's about femininity and masculinity, but when we take out these traits in the rearing of our children, what will they become? Gender is in a mentality, I agree, but isn't everything?
March 31, 2014
A well researched, well written, thought provoking short book (article really). Very pro family. I highly recommend it. I would gladly loan my Kindle version of this book to my friends.
July 13, 2015
The facade of feminism easily debunked
For far too long, our society has erroneously believed that a war on women exists. Suzanne Venker quickly and efficiently debunks this myth. In fact, the opposite is true: We aren't seeing a war on women, but rather a war on men. Men are quickly becoming emasculated and feminized from kindergarten on up. This book, much like Venker's The Flipside of Feminism, points out fascinating facts related to every fallacy of feminism. An easy but powerful read.
For far too long, our society has erroneously believed that a war on women exists. Suzanne Venker quickly and efficiently debunks this myth. In fact, the opposite is true: We aren't seeing a war on women, but rather a war on men. Men are quickly becoming emasculated and feminized from kindergarten on up. This book, much like Venker's The Flipside of Feminism, points out fascinating facts related to every fallacy of feminism. An easy but powerful read.
September 4, 2020
I have never read a more racist, homophobic and misogynistic book in my entire life. Her portrayal of men as victims who need saving from the horrible tyrants called women is disgusting to say the least. I won't even mention how terrible the writing is. I've not seen worse and I've read Fifty Shades of Grey!
April 22, 2013
This essay is quite thought provoking. I am thankful the author wrote it. It is a great tool for starting some conversations that are much needed.
February 8, 2014
There's just not a whole lot going on here. It's short in length, because that's what kind of book it is, but it feels kinda lightweight and unsubstantial even for a pamphlet. It reads like the transcript of a speech, in that the author introduces the premise and then just keeps repeating it, with slight variations, over and over again. You wish there were stats, or a study, or some more rigorous scientific discussion. Shit, any guy can tell you that there's a war on men. I guess part of the appeal here is that it's a woman saying. Where I can meet this woman?
February 6, 2020
I wanted to read this book with an open mind, yet I kept finding myself frustrated. I think the author struggles to recognize that a person can be pro-family and feminist. I think much of the book excludes intersectional identities and does not even touch on LGBT+ relationships. Although this book took less than a half hour to read, it felt like a poorly supported argument. Only some of the ideas presented are backed up, and the book is plagued with sweeping generalizations. I do think that feminism doesn't always recognize the negative societal struggles of men, but the "doofy guy" troupe is not high on my list of slights. I think examining that in conjunction with the "ditzy blonde" troupe would be a struggle for the author.
September 7, 2016
Short but informative
May 17, 2015
Hahahahahahahaha. No. Just no.
July 18, 2021
super interesting and lots of good points I would encourage people to have more of an open mind about instead of just making assumptions!! I definitely don’t agree with everything but enjoyed the perspective, just wish there was more substance. This was way too short and the main value I got was a lot of further reading material (it definitely serves as an interesting summary though)
I really really did not love the melodramatic and fear mongering tone but if you look past that there’s some well thought out points for sure!
I really really did not love the melodramatic and fear mongering tone but if you look past that there’s some well thought out points for sure!
December 16, 2023
I hope those feeling disenfranchised due to societal norms will engage with this short book. It has the power to challenge the perspectives of both women and men.
Venker looks into the perspective that women, burdened by numerous falsehoods, often find happiness elusive, only to attribute their miseries to men. Conversely, men, accused of various wrongs, may adopt negative roles as exploiters and misogynists, leading to a cycle of blame on an entire gender. The perpetuation of these narratives was never necessary.
Venker looks into the perspective that women, burdened by numerous falsehoods, often find happiness elusive, only to attribute their miseries to men. Conversely, men, accused of various wrongs, may adopt negative roles as exploiters and misogynists, leading to a cycle of blame on an entire gender. The perpetuation of these narratives was never necessary.
August 1, 2021
Big things come in small packages!
"The truth is, men and women have been equally blessed with amazing and unique qualities that each bring to the table. Isn’t it time we stopped fussing about who brought what and simply enjoy the feast?"
This quote sums it up quite beautifully, but there a lot of gems packed in this small work. Mrs. Venker, you did it again! Great work!
"The truth is, men and women have been equally blessed with amazing and unique qualities that each bring to the table. Isn’t it time we stopped fussing about who brought what and simply enjoy the feast?"
This quote sums it up quite beautifully, but there a lot of gems packed in this small work. Mrs. Venker, you did it again! Great work!
December 7, 2022
Clear Thinker
The author is a clear thinker on the issue of a modern feminist woman today. A good and clear analysis of where men and women are now. Even better, she has a clear resolution for men and women.
A good read.
The author is a clear thinker on the issue of a modern feminist woman today. A good and clear analysis of where men and women are now. Even better, she has a clear resolution for men and women.
A good read.
January 3, 2019
3.5 stars
May 12, 2021
Wish I read this sooner. We just keep digging our own graves it seems...
December 12, 2020
Sheds light on a rarely focused topic. Good job, Suzanne!
November 10, 2015
Like this Amazon singles format. I'm currently reading "The End of Men" and find it to be less clear in it's message than this far shorter book. I also find this to be more in line with reality the TEoM. Looking forward to reading more from this author.
April 4, 2016
Brilliant. I wish it was longer. Refreshing to hear from a true "pro-woman" voice in this cacophony of feminist noise.
October 14, 2017
This was a pithy commentary on the state of gender relations in the US. most of the points weren't supported with data or studies, but with anecdotal evidence, thus three stars instead of four.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews