How an egg beat Kylie Jenner at her own Instagram game

Name: The Egg.

Age: Born on 4 January.

Appearance: Bigger than Kylie Jenner.

And how big is Kylie Jenner? Smaller than the Egg.

Hey, this is Pass notes, not a zen koan. Sorry. About 1.68m (5ft 6in).

That’s a big egg! What are we talking here? Godzilla? Mutant emu? Instagram.

Whoa! Instagram has the capacity to grow oviducts now? You’re really stringing out the “deliberate misunderstanding” part of this format today, aren’t you? Shall I just explain what the Egg is?

Yes please. The Egg is a picture of an egg that has just broken Kylie Jenner’s record to become the most-liked Instagram post in all of history.

And by “all of history” you mean ... since Instagram was invented. So, eight years or so.

What is so remarkable about this picture of an egg? That’s just it. Nothing. It’s just a stock photo of an egg, the only image ever posted by @world_egg_record, alongside the caption: “Let’s set a world record together and get the most-liked post on Instagram.”

Am I missing something? Yes. You’re missing a deliberate hierarchical disruption. The Egg likely succeeded thanks to the same impulse that made Rage Against the Machine’s Killing in the Name the Christmas No 1 in 2009. Users (self-identifying as #EggSoldiers), sick of Kylie Jenner’s omnipresence, have got behind the most banal image imaginable, with the express intention of dethroning her.

And now they have succeeded? Absolutely. Jenner’s post received 18m likes, but the Egg is now at 26m and counting.

And what was Jenner’s most-liked post? A picture of her newborn daughter’s hand grasping her finger. Ha! We’re all deliberately undermining the happiest day of her life! Lolz!

And the great thing about Instagram is that there definitely won’t be any tedious copycat efforts. Clearly you haven’t seen @world_record_eggsmotheer [sic], an account that has posted a picture of a chicken (“the mother of the egg”) in an attempt to get more likes than @world_egg_record. It currently has just 17 likes, and five comments..

I really, really hate the internet sometimes. But isn’t this fascinating? The whole thing is a compelling microcosm of our entire collective online behaviour, and, if we investigate it properly, I’m sure we’ll discover …

Nope. You’re right. I hate the internet too.

Do say: “The Egg has definitively proved that Instagram likes are not a genuine reflection of true worth.”

Don’t say: “Look out for the Egg’s new reality show, Negging the Egg, starting next week on E!”